SO YOU WANT A HUMAN? ( For Wolfhounds Only)

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The first stage of owning a human is to vet them, they must make all the right noises and your first human will hopefully only accept the best people for you to see.  Get the look right and they will be hooked.


Once you have picked your person, they will take you away in a car. This is your second kennel and you can do what you like in here, being sick is normal and you can wet the seat that is always a good one. The confined area of a car is a great place to pass wind as your human loves this and will waft it around themselves, shouting with sheer pleasure and opening the window for you to put your head out and stick your tongue out to see how long it is. Your ears will flap in the wind as will your jaws. This is not dignified but it is fun, you can drool down the outside of the vehicle and it also stops you having to suffer the smell in the interior of the car! There are handles on the door to chew and if you are in an estate car or jeep then the leather trim makes a great ripping sound. You must wipe your nose on the windows every time you enter the vehicle! Ideally your own chair in a van is the best.

mr potters chair (Small).jpg (31847 bytes) Harry Potter was loaned this chair by Abbie. He used it in the van so that us big dogs didn't stand on him When he was big enough........ she sat on him to get it back!


The first night in your new home you will be allocated a bed, this is usually in the kitchen, do NOT sleep there. Cry bark or howl and if you do it right someone will come and either sleep with you or you will be removed to the bedroom where there is a very comfy warm duvet to lie on. 

Mr. Harry Potter Sings

Humans are very easily pleased but they don’t like as much sleep as we do. Waken them by biting their toes or any other bare piece of flesh you find, or alternatively, dive across their sleeping body standing on delicate areas! 'Never let your human sleep later that 5am - it's not good for them. Try to wake them by banging loudly on their bedroom door,  that is what your tail is for. (This is most effective if you can time it to coincide with a period of deep, dreamless sleep). Once you have woken them, continue to play noisily on your own for the next two hours - a good idea is to make lots of unusual noises which are hard for them to identify from their bed - this is very effective in preventing them from going back to sleep as they lie there wondering just what it is you are destroying. The most important part of this exercise is to then fall soundly asleep at about 7am, just as they are struggling out of bed. They just love to sit at the breakfast table, all bleary-eyed and grumpy, and watch you sprawled on your bed, sleeping the sleep of a carefree, innocent puppy.' They may reward you by putting you outside to play all night. However if it is cold or raining or you have had enough the howling barking routine should have the desired effect.

  he is mad.jpg (101099 bytes) Shout in the cat flap if you have one!


Get in their bed first then DON'T moveoliverb.JPG (43673 bytes) bedtime.JPG (36971 bytes)


A favorite armchair is yours for the taking. and chewing!!


Food is great and you can get what you want if you don’t eat for a day, your human will panic buy and tasty treats like chicken and fish and steaks may be offered, if not well… you did not pick the best human, you will have to train them. P.S. Clever wolfies can open cupboards and fridges. Remember to climb on all high surfaces to find treats or cat food. You are also the dish washer in the family and all plates, cutlery and pots have to be spotlessly cleaned.

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THE HEART EXERCISE. Invented by Abbie

  Abbie has found a great way to make your humans heart beat really fast, giving it lots of exercise.

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She ran to the end of the loch pier, jumped in, then disappeared into the depths. She swam up after a heart stopping moment then her human pulled her out. Her humans heart beat very fast and loud for the next hour or so and Abbie thinks this is something we should all try. (Frankly I wouldn't get my feet wet for anyone)..

The wolfies with sad looks

  STD_0006.JPG (101150 bytes)Let me up on the couch!. let us out mum! Feed me!

Human Training

To train a human the best way is the sad eyes maneuver (See above). To use this you have to lift your head slowly and gaze mournfully into your humans eyes this works well when they are eating…do not drool unless your human is sunbathing, they like drool to keep cool with and will rub it into their skin, and feed you the ice-cream they were eating. An alternative to this is the beard- remember it is very important to dry your beard after a drink this can be done by rubbing yourself on your human  especially if they are dressed in nice clothing to go out for the evening you can watch them change several times into different clothes and hear them make funny grunting noises about us. Now remember to laugh at these things the wolfhounds laugh is very important, as is the smile. These are the things that make us the best breed in the world.

Feb_17_004.jpg (39467 bytes) DD Gives Harry a bird snog!

  STB_1275 (Small).JPG (43049 bytes) Ollie with a WET beard  (guess what happened next?)

. Potter laughing


The stupid look

Let your human think you are stupid. They will not expect to much from you, unlike Darcy and Tilly  who did well in obedience but let the side down!

Teagan_2.jpg (64467 bytes) Don't overdo it or you could end up in jail!

To stop your humans getting bored you should entertain them.


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  Hide and Seek ( This is a particular favourite, your human will spend hours playing this with you) but you have to learn to hide better than Mr. Potter!



The tail can be used for many other things as well as a drum, they make lovely black and blue patterns on your human and can dust a table with one sweep, leaving it free from anything  your untidy owner left there, like ornaments or a cup of tea! 

STC_1252.JPG (121545 bytes) It doesn't work upside down!

Another great way to train a human is when you are in a field or park and you have let them off the lead, run fast in the opposite direction and your human will have a great time running after you, they will yell and scream with pleasure. They will then reward you with a biscuit when they catch you and tell you how good you are. The next stage is to run away then turn and charge at them as fast as you can. Try to veer off at the last second, don't worry if you don't make it at first, it is a very hard game to perfect and you may find you knock your human over a few times before you get it right.

If you find yourself out in the cold again… well you picked the wrong people. Train them harder.  

 potts65.jpg (162855 bytes)Potter learning the run away routine( We have all gone home)

You have to learn to tear things up, like toilet rolls, Potter will demonstrate

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Abbie's favorite.....or things that are put through the front door; a human called the postman or paperboy puts them there in the morning. Now you must NEVER hurt a human but you can tear up the papers they bring. Grab them as the land on the floor before your human gets them he will tear them first so you have to be quick, once you have them in your mouth do NOT let go. Your human, will then pull them out and tear them with you, this is a great game. Especially when your human again shouts with pleasure and calls to you ‘good dog let go.’ If he hits you on the head with them, then you are to blame you picked this human. More training is needed.

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Training your human takes lots of patience we spent all night trying to get dad to sit!!

Television is a great way to train your human. Stand in front of the set with your lead in your mouth and whine till your human either throws a cushion or the remote at you (more training needed) or takes you for a walk. - (You've cracked it).


Do not look at the television as Ollie and Harry are now addicted and never misses a programme!

Unless he is babysitting!

Come on Harry it's starting!


Train your human not to walk you in the rain it is just like being put in a shower. You WILL get wet!

  100_0336.JPG (318181 bytes)Dad and I were miserable mum made us shop in the rain!

  100_3723 (Small).JPG (93288 bytes)Then we both take a shower!!!

Look at the state of my hair!


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The Mud Bath... This is a time when you must take care to get covered in mud and rub against the furniture. The settee is there for you to wipe your face on, start at one end and drag your beard along to the other using all the cushions. (Particularly useful when you have just eaten)

 When you jump up placing both paws( preferably muddy) on your humans shoulder and lick their face it is called cuddling and your human will love you more for this. (Our humans have lots of tops with our paw-prints ingrained on them). We know that when they buy new ones we have to mark them to keep them happy.

If you get shut out of the house in the rain, training school for your human yet again.

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This is the sit -stay. easy for humans to learn and it is a trick they seem to love doing. (Siofra's managed to teach only one human at a time to do this , but you can get all your humans to obey at once if you are clever)


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Finally no matter how stupid the cat looks, respect him he is the boss.

These are the basics for a wolfhound to know, . We only want the best for our humans so all you wolfhounds out there email   and let us know the best way to care for them (with pictures if possible) and we will include it here 

for the good of the human.

TheBribiba Hounds.  sign our GUESTBOOK click here..

Fran Smith-King

What you said in emails to Harry Potter 

  what a delightful page!!!. here are my thoughts on sleeping arrangements.
make sure you take up at least 1/2 of the bed to start. then in the middle of
the night move into the center of the bed and spread out. make sure to hit
your sleeping human in the head with your paw
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I have a 16 month old male red brindle and I loved the site!! It fits Clancy to a tee <G>! Thanks for all your wonderful pictures and great text! When I saw the red chair in the van I laughed. When I saw Potter's demonstration of toilet paper destruction I howled, but when I got down to Ollie's TV addiction I about cried - LOL!! Clancy does EXACTLY the same things!!

Best of luck to you and your hounds,
Susan Flanagan and Clancy

I am Nemo, your American cousin.

I thought I'd add something for your "So you want a human" page. I have
found that the very BEST way to get a human out of bed in the morning is
to take careful aim and swat a paw down onto their full bladder. Time to
GO! Amazing how quickly you can train them to this. Then as long as they
are up, you get let out too.

I work at a tattoo studio, and by night I chase raccoons and skunks. I
had to miss work two days this week because a skunk caught me.Nemolookup1.jpg (7065 bytes)

Nice to see your web page. My wife Orla and I are on the staff section
of my human's business pages, because I am vital! Remember what was
written about us in the 4th century in THE SAGA OF BURNT NIALL:

"I will give to thee a dog who will be as useful to thee in battle as an       
able man, and who will tell you who is your friend and who is your foe."

That's our job!


  Copyright © 1999 [Bribiba Irish Wolfhounds]. All rights reserved.
Revised: April 04, 2012